PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT BUSINESS 2 (AWKWARD WORK COLLEAGUES) AT WEALTHNUGGETS4U.COM
A key personal development business issue is learning how to handle people. One of the most dificult groups of people to deal with are awkward work colleagues. Well, no matter how nasty a person is towards you, you've got to learn to see things from their perspective. I'm not suggesting you succumbe to them, just that you try to understand them. By doing this you'll find it easier to deal with them. People are vindictive towards their colleagues for numerous reasons but the main ones are fear and jealousy.
Both of these traits are handleable but you must exercise patience. Someone who has issues with you will not let you become too friendly with them, especially in the short term. As well as acting unfriendly towards you it is likely that they will encourage others to do the same. Obviously, rank has a part to play but even if you are senior to an awkward colleague don't take that for granted, they can still have an adverse effect on your career, particularly if they've been in the job a long time.
Personal development business quote: "Its better to be envied than pitied." Herodotus. (484BC-430BC).
Good personal development business practice is to find out three things that interest them and everytime you bump into them ask them about one of them. 'How are the kids, cats, auntie Jane', whatever. You don't have to reveal anything about your own life, just express an interest in theirs.
Feed their ego by asking them about a part of the job they are good at, however don't ask about anything that's too important to you because they might try to trip you up. The likelyhood is however, that they'll revel in the opportunity to act superior to you. Communication is a great healer and they will automatically start to warm to you.
Give them sincere praise or even flattery but a word of warning, any flattery you give them must be absolutely genuine. Also, praise them to someone else, it will definitely get back to them.
By adopting these personal development methods, the awkward colleage will start to see you in a different light, they won't see you as so much of a threat and once you've apealed to their better nature, their fear and jealousy towards you will disapate and may even disapear completely.
The dynamic obviously changes when the awkward colleague is superior to you. They may or may not be your direct boss but the closer you have to work with them the more difficult the situation will be. Obviously, the above personal development methods will have an impact on them but these people have power over you and it's wise to tread carefully with them. Even if you do feel like giving them a peice of your mind resist. Most people in authority have an ego, so use your personal development skills and learn how to stroke it.
Try and get them to reminisce about their lives and careers, it works a treat. They will start to associate the good feelings they get from nostalgia with speaking with you. No matter what age a person is, everybody likes to reminisce. Research shows that children start to feel loss from about the age of seven.
Wealthnugget4u:- Personal development business: When trying to figure out other people always turn the situation round on yourself. For example, if you are trying to sell to someone, consider what it is you look for when making a purchase. Eg. lifestyle improvement, trust in the vendor, trialing without obligation, etc. The people or companies you are trying to sell to want exactly the same things that you do, it's that simple.
It's sound career advice to avoid verbal slanging matches with work colleagues at all cost, even if you win the argument, the long term consequences of it could be damaging, if not fatal for your career. However if you do find yourself in this situation try to stay as calm as possible. Deep breathing slows down the pulse rate and will help keep your emotions in check. Keep asking the questions, mentally repeat the word 'ask' if necessary, this way you retain control of the conversation and it will force your colleague into justifying their attack on you. If you run out of questions just repeat your colleague's last phrase (parroting), it will have the same effect. Just by being the calm one, you are giving youself a distict advantage of comming out of the encounter unscathed.
Finally, if the situation becomes intolerable, seek arbitration. Initially try to resolve the matter internall but if that fails, don't hesitate to seek advice outside of your company. Most organisations have governing bodies that are extremely helpful and sympathetic towards people that are being bullied. If yours hasn't, don't be affraid to seek legal advice. Most bullies are cowards and if you stand up to them, they'll more than likely back down. Remember, make sure that justice prevails and then WALK AWAY. I'll show you how to do this and how to neutralise all your negative feelings, later, in my EMOTIONS section. I will write more on career advice and other personal-development topics soon.
Good luck with your personal development business plan.
Personal development business quote: "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, remember to dig two graves".- Confucious.(551-479BC)
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